A peaceful home is not alway easy to come by. Especially in the midst of a storm or just life in general. Sometimes I find it hard to figure out how to even make a peaceful home when there are children, jobs, chores, activities, pets and more. Do you find the same challenges?
Early in our marriage, a peaceful home was non-existent. It really didn’t bother me much, because I’ve always lived in a bit of chaos. What I learned though, is that my husband didn’t function well in a chaotic home. Our personalities and needs are quite opposite, so it wasn’t something I noticed for years.
When I did realize that he needed a peaceful home to function better, to be a better husband and father, I made it a priority to create that for him. No, everyday is not perfect. There are often days that are out of control. But for the most part, we have a peaceful home or get right back to it. I have even found that I benefit a great deal from a peaceful home too.
Most men need a peaceful home. It’s part of that domestic support they need to thrive. It may seem silly, but he needs and can even fantasize about a home life that is stress and worry free, yes fantasize! When he comes home from work, it’s overwhelming to have children that are out of control and a wife that is all over the place (that was me). Most men would love to come home, relax, calmly talk to his family and get on with the rest of the evening.
If you notice your man coming home from work, going straight to the TV or his man-cave without acknowledging the family, this may be a sign that the home is not a peaceful haven for him and he’s finding his own way to retreat from a stressful day at work.
How to Create a Peaceful Home
- Have your children busy doing an activity at the time when he comes home from work.
- Try to do a quick pick up of visible items (even if it means stuffing them in the ottoman).
- Give him time to relax and wind-down before he tends to the family. Don’t bombard him the second he comes in the door with your day of activities and problems. Give him some time.
- Have dinner in the process of cooking when he comes home (if his hours are crazy, use an app like Find Friends to see when he is on his way and to determine the time to start cooking – this is what I do). If the kids need to eat earlier because he works late, feed them first, then give them an activity to do while you are eating with your husband.
- Resist conflict and hard conversations at the dinner table. If you don’t eat together at the dinner table, do you best to make this a habit and a fun time for the family. “Breaking bread” together creates strong bonds and makes strong families.
- Keep your bedroom clutter-free and clean, creating a haven for relaxing.
- Discuss what chores can be divided between you to help from becoming overwhelmed with chores, so you can help to create a peaceful home where you are not overstressed.
- If possible financially, hire help with the kids, chores or cooking (instead of buying the latest gadget or cable TV, this may be a better investment for your marriage).
- Talk with your husband about what he would like in a peaceful home. Discuss how to work together to make it happen. Let him know what you need help with and be open to his suggestions.
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