Life can be busy and overwhelming at times. During those times we can lose focus on what is important or more, who is important. Daily tasks grab our attention faster than we can consciously remember to remember those in our lives that are important and need us. We get so task driven that we lose sight of being a husband, wife, dad, mom or a family.
We become a task generator. A get-it-done person where nothing and no-one gets in the way. The result? Our loved ones are left in the dust.
Is this you? Can you relate? I know I have been down this road too many time to admit. I’m not sure how it is in other countries, but in the U.S., it seems that we let ourselves get wrapped up in the status of being busy. Like that is going to really allow us to achieve something great.
During of our goal of becoming superwoman or superman, our family system is falling apart. Divorce rates are still way too high, 50% they still stand. Our children are suffering at levels we cannot keep up with.
So what does all of this mean?
We need to slow down and take a little time out of our busy schedule to be with those that matter. To be with those that we are doing everything for. At the end of the day, your husband or wife would rather you spend quality time with them instead of completing every task in super detail and on time.
People are more important than things, time and task lists.
Taking Time Out Of Your Daily Busyness
Taking time out of your daily schedule is important, really, essential. It’s the daily routines that get away from us and before we know it, daily stuff becomes weekly stuff becomes monthly stuff and then the year has flown by, once again.
Set aside 30 minutes each day to spend uninterrupted [no phone, tablets, kids or chores] quality time with your spouse. You need to be able to connect with him or her daily.
Use this 30 minutes to get to know your spouse. If it’s been a while for you to spend a little daily time together, then use this as an opportunity to get to know each other…again. (Use our Marriage Study Journal to help with sowing time into your marriage)
Maybe you think you know your spouse, but we all change over time. Maybe not huge changes but little things. Our ideas, plans and goals change as our careers and life goes on. Learn what’s new in your spouses life. Find out what they are passionate about. Listen to what they need and desire.
6 Steps to Slow Down and Spend Quality Time With Your Spouse
- Schedule uninterrupted time with your spouse.
- Mark it down in your calendar and set an alarm.
- Commit to your scheduled time, daily.
- Find a comfortable quiet place to talk.
- If you are not used to talking daily, ahead of time, think of a few questions to ask your spouse. (see examples below)
- Make a mental or physical note of what you talked about. Bring these items up again another time to discuss further or to make new plans and date nights.
Anything you sow into will grow, whether good or bad. If you choose to not sow good into your marriage, then you will not get anything good out of it and you will continue to be unhappy.
Marriage needs love, time, patience, kindness, respect, communication, commitment and YOU! Sow these into your marriage and see your marriage grow into the relationship you have always desired.
[SAMPLE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE]
- What is your favorite hobby?
- If you had unlimited money and time, what would you do?
- What’s your favorite movie or TV series?
- What could I do to make your life a little easier? (don’t take offense to any answer)
- What could you change about your career if you could change anything?
- What’s your favorite part about me?
- What could I do to spice up our marriage?
- What is your favorite meal?
- How do you feel about the church that we are going to (don’t take offense to any answer)
- How do you feel about the town we live in, would you move somewhere else if you could?
- What do you think about doing a Bible study together?
- Are you worried about our future, relationship wise or financially?
- The kids birthdays are coming up, what should we get them?
- How did your parents make you feel as a kid?
- Do you wish you had more time to spend with your friends?
- What is the happiest thing that has ever happened to you?
- What has been the hardest experience in your life?
- What are your secret ambitions and goals for yours or our life?
- What are your deepest fears?
- What man or men does he admire most?
Read more on How Well Do You Know Your Husband
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