I love being with my family. I love working too. Sometimes work can really get in the way of family time, at least for me. With my personality type, Choleric, I tend to be on the go a lot and push sometimes the important things to the side. One of those things, can be my family.
I try to be mindful of this and and keep away from that bad habit, for the most part it works, but every now and then I slip back into old habits. Family time is important. Marriage is important. My children are important. This is what I try to remind myself when I get lost in my work.
You might not think this should be a challenge, but with a workaholic personality, it can be a huge problem. If you don’t believe me, I can show you many working moms that are building amazing corporate careers at the expense of their families.
It’s not that they don’t want to be with their families, it’s just how they are wired. They don’t plan to leave their families behind on purpose, it just sorta happens. It takes them, me, extra effort to slow down, and smell the roses. That is actually a painfully hard task to do, to slow down! Without being aware of this, or having a plan in place for when work takes over, many families can suffer.
This past weekend I needed to get some extra work done with a friend. We both needed to work on our blogs and hammer out some planning and technical details.
My children are a little older, in their teens, so leaving to go to a friend’s house for a night isn’t too hard. They are old enough to take care of theirselves, but I don’t like leaving them on their own. I love being with them. Even when I work during the week at home, I like them to be close by. I love being with my family.
I could’ve gone and had just a girls night, and not worry about anything else. But I just didn’t feel that was right. Not this time. There are times when this is right and I know I need to be very focused on work. This just wasn’t one of those times.
I decided to bring my daughter along. I knew she could help us out a bit, but I wanted her to also have a girls get-away. She had just taken her SAT’s, and had been stressed for weeks. I knew she needed time away from her normal routine.
The friend I visited has children too, and they haven’t seen my daughter in a while, they missed her so much. This was a great opportunity to bring my daughter along.
She helped with the younger children and helped out around the house. But what I loved, what I cherished were the moments in between. Looking out over the lake and dreaming with her. Having yummy meals and a walk along a marina. Sharing a bedroom and having mommy-daughter time. And the drive there and back. So many moments to take in and focus on her for a while amongst the busyness of getting work done too.
As she gets older, I love being able to go to fun places and have that mommy-daughter time.
As a matter of fact, my mom and I did this often too. About once a year we would go on a trip. Sometimes my kids came with us and sometimes my husband was able to work it out where he would watch them or made arrangements with sitters.
We went to places like Florida for a 3 day Mother’s day weekend. Driving to Cambridge, Ohio to see the Longaberger basket company. Driving 9 hours to take my daughter to camp then off to have fun at my aunts for a few days.
I look forward to these trips with my daughter. Great moments and wonderful memories are made on these little outings and short excursions.
I want to start to take advantage of these things now. I want to start building that tradition as early as possible. I know that she will soon be off to college and have her own life. A busy life. One that us parents will be put on hold for a time.
These little moments matter, now.
If you can, try to take the children one at a time, by theirself, without their siblings. Getting to know each child individually is important. Plus, they love having one-on-one time with a parent. It makes them feel loved and special.
Plan a trip, a small one, with one child. Find something they would like to do that requires a sleep over at a hotel. Do fun activities while you are there. Let the child help plan the little get-away. Don’t forget, you’re there to spend time with your child. Put the phone away. Leave your work behind.
You won’t regret these trips. The only thing you will regret is not taking the time to do them.
Even if you are on a tight budget, you can make little trips work. Maybe it’s won’t be a sleepover at a hotel, but instead a short drive to location you haven’t been for a long time or at all. Visit a fun little shopping village. Kids love amusement parks (if you can handle the rides). How about a museum that child loves? Or a visit to a friend where you can stay. Do a scavenger hunt through the city you live in or a nearby town. Geocache, it’s the ultimate treasure hunt!
There is always a way to spend time with your children.
There will always be opportunities.
Don’t miss these special moments.
You are making memories.[separator type=”hb-fw-separator” go_to_top=”yes”] Photo Credit: (c) Can Stock Photo
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