Do you remember your first dates with your husband? Do you remember all the activities you did while you were dating, before the question of marriage came up?
You may have done things that you wouldn’t have normally done under any other circumstances. But because you were intrigued by this man, head-over-heels for him, you participated in just about any activity he was interested in. Activities that you may not have even liked. That’s ok, I think we all did that. I don’t think our intention was to deceive him into thinking we were someone we weren’t. We were excited to be with him and that included doing things that we didn’t normally do.
During that time, your now-husband, thought how great it was that you enjoyed being with him and being a part of his world, including his recreational activities. He had no idea that you were just doing that stuff to be with him, just to be around him. He genuinely thought that you had interest in those activities.
Part of that interest in his life, is why he fell in love with you. It’s why he decided you would be the perfect fit for him.
Over the next several years, after marriage, he may have started to discover that the things he thought you liked are not, in fact, at all your ideal or desired activities, and that maybe you both don’t have as much in common as he originally thought.
Can you imagine his heartbreak? Not that he is realizing that he should have not chosen you, but that the one he thought would be a great companion, recreational included, doesn’t have any interest in his life. Ouch!
According to His Needs, Her Needs, “Spending recreational time with his wife is second only to sex for the typical husband.” You can see what a huge disappointment this part of his life is becoming.
He may have his man-friends to do those guy things, but his true companion, he thought, is you. You may think that when he has time off from work, he should spend it with you and the kids, doing what you want. And that is ok sometimes. But he deserves to have his life-long companion right along his side, doing his interests too.
If this types of situation is starting to happen in your home, you are probably experiencing much tension in your marriage, without even realizing it.
Ladies! Wives! You need to think about your husband and HIS needs. I know you are busy with life, job, kids and everything else too. But your marriage is suffering and if you don’t do something to fix it, it will be over.
Your new motto should be:
The Couple That Plays Together, Stays Together
Figure a way to include yourself into his life again. Revisit the activities you did together before you were married. Ask him what he likes to do. Then… get over yourself and go get dirty.
Steps to Become His Recreational Companion, Again
1. Revisit – Revisit the activities you did together before you were married. Review the list below to find interests that you can do together.
2. Identify – After identifying what you like to do, schedule time to try each of activity. Even if it’s not one of your favorite things to do, try it anyways. Once you do them all, narrow it down to your 5 or so favorites. Keep that list in sight, so you remember to schedule time alone doing his favorite activities. He will be so thankful and happy that he is getting back his Recreational Companion.
Recreational Activity Ideas[row] [column size=”col-4″]
- Amusements Parks
- Antique Collecting
- Auto Racing
- Baseball (playing or watching)
- Basketball (playing or watching)
- Bible Study
- Board Games
- Dining Out
- Frisbee Golf
- Go Carts
- Horseback Riding
- Horse Racing
- Ice Fishing
- Mountain Climbing
- Pool (billiards)
- Rock Collecting
- Skiing (water or snow)
- Stamp Collecting
- Table Tennis
- Video Games
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