This is a subject many women don’t like to discuss or even think about. However, it is essential to get this right in order for your marriage to be a success. You may not agree with me, but if you are a God-fearing women, then all you have to do is look it up in the scriptures and see what goes along with the marriage commitment.
Does this mean you need to be a sex-slave to your husband, do anything he wishes and submit at every moment he needs fulfilled? No. But getting this part of your marriage life right will strengthen the bond between you two and help you both to be fulfilled in the needs you both have.
You may recall when you were dating your husband how affectionate and romantic he was. He most likely “wined and dined” you to get you feeling romantic. And in most cases, he succeeded.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s ok to have sex before you are married. As a matter of fact, I’m an advocate for waiting and staying pure. I did not grow up that way although I wish I would have. Sexual intimacy is a spiritual connection that is meant for only one. Sexual ties to others can lead to future problems in a marriage. With knowing that the majority, if not all, of the women reading this most likely had sexual contact before marriage, I will assume you understand most of this. If you waited, then I’m assuming that this same concept was true for your first months or years of marriage.
Back to when you were dating or engaged… He, your husband, probably did just about anything that wooed you into filling his needs. For him, going into marriage, was knowing that he had a partner that would fill his sexual needs for the rest of his life. Although he knew how to sweep you off of your feet at one time, he probably doesn’t realize he still needs to do that in order for you to feel filled as well.
He just assumes that the same sexual gratification he gets, you get too.
When he chose you, he promised to remain faithful to you, but believing that you would be there to fill his sexual needs as well as all the others. If you have become complacent, too busy or just not willing to fill those needs for him, he will more than likely find it with someone else. Some men can deal with missing out on this portion of their life but most cannot and will purposely or accidentally seek it out.
My ministry and calling for helping marriages, doesn’t heavily involved the sexual side of things. BUT it’s a huge factor in marriages and one that can never be overlooked. I do believe that most marriages can prevent the tragedy of an affair, but it begins with understanding the differences between both of your sexualities.
How to Take Care of His Other Needs
1. Overcome sexual ignorance:
In order for you to do this, means you have to do a little research, reading and studying. If you don’t you will continue to be blinded to his needs and even your own.
Resources for Educating Yourself on Sexual Intimacy
The Art of Understanding Your Mate by Cecil G. Osborne (Amazon Affiliate Link)
Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow (Amazon Affiliate Link)
Communicating in this department is the only way you will understand each other. You will need to learn how to share intimate details with each other. I think this is harder for women then men. But when you do begin communicating your needs, concerns, likes and dislikes, your private married life will be taken to the next level. Not only sexually, but in your trust in him and with him.
When you start to understand the importance of filling this specific need in your husband’s life, you will see a turning point in your marriage. He will become closer to you and do just about anything for you. Not because you are just having sex with him, but because you are filling a need that is built deep within him, a need that is meant for you to fill. A need that when filled by you will show him ultimate love and caring.
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