If you’ve had a chance to read the posts on Accepting and Appreciating your husband, you may wonder what the difference is when we talk about Admiring him. While they are similar, there are differences.
- Accepting your husband means to take him as he is.
- Appreciating your husband means to take him for his true worth and what he does for you.
- Admiring him means you notice his manliness, his manly qualities. His masculine skills, abilities, achievements, ideas, dreams and manly body. Simply put. What makes him a man!
All men desire a deep longing to be admired. They have since they were little boys. They have and alway will thrive on it. If you have a young son, then you most likely have experienced this already. When your son does something “strong” for you, he wants you to notice his manly qualities and loves when you express admiration for it.
Our husbands are no different. They still need to be noticed. They need to be reassured that you notice them as men. If you don’t notice their manliness, I promise, another woman will. If you’re ok with that, then by no means, pay attention to this post!
We may not relate to this concept at all. Often we think that we can handle the manly duties just fine or even better. But really, are you doing those tasks out of impatience or doing it so it’s done your way? Do you really need to be manly? When it comes down to it, the reality is that women need to be loved and men need to be admired. Let him do the manly tasks that he was created to do and be.
What to Admire
He wants you to admire his qualities that can only be found in a man. He may appreciate you noticing how kind, thoughtful and handsome he is, but you will do little to stir his feelings up for you. What he needs to be noticed for is his manly body, skills, achievements and dreams. When you notice these traits, you wake up his tender feelings of affection for you.
1. His body – Notice his physical features. Maybe he’s not in the best of shape, you don’t have to dwell on that. Find other features that set him apart from you. His strong arms. His height. How his stature makes you feel protected. His strength. Large hands. Beard. Deep voice. Heavy walk.
2. Masculine Skills and Abilities – Acknowledge his skills and abilities in his job. Most likely he has a job, whether in corporate America or manual labor, that is meant for a man. I’m not saying a woman can’t do it, but really ladies, do we need to do the “man” jobs? If your husband does a job or has a skill that women do, do not, ever, compare his job done to a women’s. You will never win his affection if you compare him to a woman!
3. Masculine Achievements – Admire and honor him for advancement at his job. For winning a championship in a hobby he enjoys. For outstanding service or completing a difficult task in a masculine field.
4. Masculine Goals and Dreams – If he has dreams and goals that he has not yet accomplished in a masculine field, praise him for that. Going after what he desires, is hard work. He believes that not just anyone can accomplish those goals.
5. Masculine Traits and Character – Is he decisive, steadfast and aggressive (not in a bad way, but get-things-done-kinda-way), let him know you notice. If you have a man that holds the door open for you or your children or any other chivalrous task, give him credit.
6. Masculine Role – Not all men fall into this category. I find that it’s usually because there is a strong wife that hasn’t allowed him to play his part, yet. I can say this, because this was me! I wore the pants. I said what goes. I controlled the finances. I was in charge. I can tell you, I didn’t play a man’s role very well. I was stressed and depressed all the time. I screwed up so much up, including our relationship. Let him take over the task of guiding the family. He needs to be the protector and provider. He was created for that. And, now I have learned to let him lead, I really really love my husband in this role. I love being taken care of. It’s a really special feeling to know that someone else cares so much for you, that they would do just about anything for you.
How to Discover Things to Admire
- Think about him
- Observe him
- Listen to him talk
How to Express Admiration
1. Be sincere – Sincerity is essential when you are relating to a man’s most sensitive nature, pride in himself and his masculinity. He will notice superficial made-up flattery, and it won’t be good. It will almost seem like you are trying to make fun of him and his qualities as a man. He may think you are trying to manipulate him and he will resent you for that.
If you don’t yet admire him. Study and think about him until you can find qualities to truly admire.
2. Be specific – When admiring your husband, be specific with your praise. Don’t just say, I love how manly you are. But specificy what it is about his manliness you love. For example, “I love seeing your muscles flex when you lift that heavy box for me,” or, “I really appreciate all that hard yard work you did for me, it takes more strength than I have to do that.”
Rules for Admiring Your Husband
- Accept him as he is.
- Think about him.
- Observe him.
- Listen to him talk.
- Express admiration in words.
- Be sincere.
- Be specific
Write down a list of 10 things you admire about him. Be sure they are sincere and specific. Throughout the week, tell him those things you admire about him.
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