Hey beautiful! I’m so thankful that your here today. Not just here reading this post, but here, or there, where you are reading this right now. You probably don’t realize it, but someone in your life really appreciates you and looks up to you. They need you. You are special to them. However, maybe no one has told you lately how special you are. How needed you are. (And by the way, I know you are beautiful because you were created that way, me too. Each one of us was created wonderfully, uniquely and for a purpose!)
We really need to hear these words from time to time. Words of praise. Words of love. Words that make us realize that someone has noticed us. It’s not for gloating or being boastful, but to know that we matter. Just getting that reassurance that someone cares.
Our children need this same thing. All the time. They need to know how special they are. And sometimes knowing this means that we have to tell them how special they are. Not just assume they know. This goes for our teens too. They are bombarded everyday with all kinds of negative. From their peers, possibly from their teachers, family members and even from their friends.
They need to be lifted up. Just as we do.
The thing about praising others, is that it has to be sincere. People, including kids, know when we’re not sincere. Or if we are just saying something to say something.
Over-praising can be a bad thing too. Children can either get an inflated view of who they are or they will begin to question if your telling the truth. I don’t mean a littler over-praising, but really going overboard. Children need lots of praise, but keep it sincere.
Be specific in your praises. Just don’t tell them they are a good kid, but what it is about them that is good. What they did that was well done or amazing.
If you’ve read the book by Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages, then you may remember, one of the Five was Words of Affirmation. Some people, children too, need to hear praise to have their “love tanks” filled. If they don’t get praise, but instead you’re hugging them and buying them gifts, they won’t feel loved.
This praise thing can be hard for you if your Love Language isn’t Words of Affirmation. Try to make it a habit to give praises to those around you. Just remember, be true to what you say. Be sincere and genuine in all praises you give people.
They will notice your sincerity and accept those praises deep within their heart.
3 Areas to Praise Children
Praise the child for completing a task, for how it was done, for coming up with a new creative way to complete it, for not complaining about the task. If they haven’t completed a task or they are having trouble with it, praise them for what they have done so far and encourage them to keep going. Especially if it’s a “mandatory” task like a chore or homework. It’s easy to be discouraged doing a task that seems impossible or too hard. Encouragement is needed. If it’s just rebellion against a chore, then I wouldn’t praise until the task is complete. Sometimes the praise can be a, “thank you, I appreciate your help and you being a part of this family.”
Praise good behavior, especially when they least expect it. Let them know what the behavior is that you are praising. Don’t just say, “you’re such a good kid, you’re so well-behaved.” Tell them what it was that makes them well-behaved. Was it listening, waiting, serving others, saying something nice? It’s better to praise good behavior than to always be negative about behavior that is not acceptable. If they constantly hear what they are not supposed to be doing and how bad they are being, then they may live up to those expectation. They may feel that no matter what they are doing you never approve.
If your child plays a sport or does an activity, but maybe they aren’t doing their best. They may not be happy with their own performance. Don’t artificially praise them when they know they aren’t doing great. If they’ve worked really hard, but things aren’t coming together, praise the effort. Look for where they pushed theirself, where they worked really hard and put a lot of effort into the activity.
Remember: Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. Including being praised!
Having trouble with manners? Our most popular post on 10 Manners Every Boy Should Know or 10 Manners Every Girl Should Know, may help point you in the right direction in guidance for acceptable manners.
Photo Credit: (c) Can Stock Photo
Get Your Free Manners Printable
Subscribe to get our latest content by email and receive your FREE printable manner checklist for your son or daughter!